A few weeks ago I reached out to some people who I know and have met over the years and ASKED them if they would like the OPPORTUNITY to be a guest blogger on my Inner Circle. I gave some basic parameters and asked that the article be positive.
One of my potential bloggers sent me an article and after reading I decided not to publish. I told this person that I philosophically disagreed with their view point on what it takes to be successful. I then politely told the author that I would not be publishing for the reason above.
To my surprise, this person, who I recently met and thought would be a decent contributor, sent me a nasty email and started attacking me. I was taken aback a little bit, but then I just smiled.
As you already know, I am an avid reader and The Law of Success is a book that I read almost every day. Napoleon Hill is a genius – he reminds us that we can’t worry about what others think and not to be influenced by negative behavior.
More recently, Russell Simmons’s book, Success through Stillness, discusses how the toxic chemicals that are released when we get angry can cause anxiety, depression, and even loss of energy. I thought about what he said and again reminded myself that this person’s unprovoked rant was not worth causing me stress or anxiety.
A few years ago I would have possibly responded and began to trade negative emails, which I knew then and now would not accomplish anything. When you are attacked or when others say negative things about you, ASK yourself: does it really matter? Will responding or posting on Facebook really accomplish anything? The answer is NO it won’t help.
More recently, I have been reading Dan Harris’s book, 10% Happier. In his book, Dan candidly and honestly discusses how he had a massive panic/anxiety attack on air in front of millions. He goes on to discuss his somewhat manic, obsessive and destructive behavior. The premise of the book is his search for happiness from a skeptic’s/reporter’s perspective. One thing that Dan’s book has again reminded me of is what others have said for years – it’s okay to have emotions like anger and sadness, but don’t let your thoughts, such as anger, control your mind. You can be aware of your thoughts, but just be aware that that’s all they are. Thoughts aren’t your reality. YOU control your thoughts and, ultimately, your reality.
So to wrap it all up, I must say I was a little annoyed at this person, but I realized he should, number one, read my book, Ask More Get More. Number two, he will never reach the pinnacle of success through negativity. And the most important for me, number three, you control your thoughts and you control your reality. When I did respond to him I wished him nothing but the best and wished him luck with sincerity then moved on. See, I controlled my thoughts by “killing this person with kindness” and turned the negative activity into a positive reality.
Finally, if you’re ever presented with a situation in which someone or something may be a negative influence on your life, ASK yourself: is it worth responding back negatively and obsessing over? Again, I will answer for you. It isn’t.